The Monte and the Cutlass

I headed out to change the oil on the Monte today. I don't have a jack down here so I had to do it without lifting it.
No problem, I thought. I used to change the oil in the Monte all the time without jacks.
Well, there were a few new wrinkles. First, the drain plug was metric (for godsake this was straight from GM too!) Then I discovered that the new headers dip down much lower than the old exhaust manifold. I scorched my arm on it a few times.
Then the new oil pan I got decided it could not handle the flow of the oil and dumped about half of it on the ground. Thank god that isn't my parking spot.
And don't get me started on how many places I had to go to get the correct AC Delco filter (about five.)
In the end everything came out ok, except…